Under the knife…

So, tomorrow I go under the knife again for the fourth time in my life; this latest is what I hope will be the final volley in my endeavor to fix my sinus, apnea, and general breathing issues. In short, I’m getting a new schnoz…

Well, not really. Just a reworking of the scaffolding inside the schnoz; like the statue of liberty getting some new girders (as opposed to new garters).

And wouldn’t you know it, in my own Michael Moore moment, in the eleventh hour the insurance company has denied coverage for one of the three procedures that my surgeon was to perform. The “reason” given: “not medically necessary.” When I called said insurance company to inquire further, the physician who signed off on this did not leave any notes or further information as to how he/she arrived at this conclusion.

So, let me get this straight – a doctor who doesn’t know me, who has never met me or examined me, has determined what I need in terms of medical intervention. Welcome to the American insurance business…

And I can totally tell you that what’s at play here is a “one size fits all” approach to healthcare. Many people who are diagnosed with sleep apnea have gained weight or have obesity issues; that’s not the case with me (in fact, every person who has examined me along the way has always started by commenting that they are suprised when they see me in person after looking at my chart because I look like I shouldn’t be a candidate for apnea). Apnea is either neurologically driven or structurally driven; my sleep study showed that it’s structural, not originating in the brain, so it would seem to reason that if the structure is the problem, changing the structure could be a cure. I know of several people who were over-weight and through weight-loss were able to alleviate their apnea symptoms; as someone who is not over-weight, this avenue is not an option for me, but obviously trimming some of the tissue in the back of the throat could be. This is the procedure that the insurance company has denied.

They want the quick fix (which they think will be more cost-effective in the long run): you have apnea? here’s a CPAP machine, that’s how we “treat” it. Next!”

The CPAP is not a treatment, it’s a means of forcing pressurized air into the nasal cavity when the patient desat’s to the point of losing respirations; in other words (or to put it in terms that my brethren in the anti-violence movement can understand) it’s not prevention it’s intervention. This approach does not take into account the unique circumstances that could be at play with my particular biological, physiological reality as a patient. It does not take into account the reality of me (and by the way, I’m the paying customer; remember me? – I’m the one who is paying for your company to exist; I’m the one who pays your salary…)

So, if I should happen to survive the anesthesia and all tomorrow, I’m going to appeal this decision to the hilt. And assuming I am successful, this company, that was so concerned with saving a buck, will end up paying for surgery TWICE! I mean, never mind how angry I am as the patient, as a paying customer of this company, I’m appalled at the blatantly stupid decisions. This is going to end up costing us all more in the long run.

I think I’m going to buy Sicko for everyone on my X-mas list…

by George…

I was cleaning out computer files and came across this text snippet, which I had at one point hanging on my office wall…

It is from the U.S. Declaration of Independence, and refers to King George of England… but clearly it could refer to our own “monarch”…

“He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.”

visitors…

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
 
~ Rumi ~

ether or…

Tonight I embark on an experiment of sorts; I’m participating in a four day enlightenment intensive… sort of a retreat for the “soul” (whatever that means to you)… or, as I am trying to frame it for myself, a vision quest…

I’m both looking forward to it, and slightly trepidatious; this could definitely move stuff (metaphorically speaking) which has kept me somewhat stuck in a rut the last couple of years of my life — that’s why I’m doing it in the first place… and like most life-changing events that brings with it the promise of the new and the fear of losing grip with the things you’ve always identified yourself with for years on end (even if that “thing” is leftover pain from a failed relationship or lost loved one that you can’t change and should have put to rest eons ago…).

Does that make sense?

At any rate, since I’ll be cut off completely for several days, you’ll all just have to wait until next week when I get back and I’ll hopefully have some insights, stories, reflections to share.

Unless I reach complete enlightenment and just vaporize into the ionosphere…
(from ethernet to ether, as it t’were…).

human intention…

Add to the ever growing list of wonderful minds/work that I’ve been exposed to thanks to PBS, architect William McDonough.

He was one of four (I think… math never was my strong suit) designers/architects profiled in the fourth installment of the series Design: e2 looking at construction and the environment. His thinking is really clear, articulate, intelligent and thought-provoking.

A quick search on YouTube turned up a talk of his from the TED conference 2005:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=IoRjz8iTVoo. It’s about 20 min. but worth the viewing…

The “take home” quote: “How do we love all the children of all species for all time?”

Sounds like a species mission statement to me…

{addendum: currently reading Cradle 2 Cradle, a fascinating book. They are also building a community website}

Montyland blog archive

I’m in the process of rebuilding my homepage, so I thought I’d relocate past postings from that blog to this one…

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

A very bad day, indeed…

It was one week ago tomorrow that I woke up and received the most awful of emails – that Sam Clay, Stephanie’s son, had died.WSJ Sam Clay Article

The accident was a complete fluke apparently; although, truth to tell, and maybe this is just an indication that I am still in shock about the whole thing, but I can’t help but feel that there was someone else involved. There’s just no way to wrap my head around it; and now that I’ve been to the scene and examined the clues myself, I’m convinced: something (a deer, another vehicle) made that kid turn the car suddenly to the right while hitting the brakes. Because of the terrain, once he went off the road, that was pretty much the end of the story; not even an experienced driver could have kept control of the vehicle on that slope.

For those who would like to read a bit about Sam, his obit [scroll down to Clay, Samuel] and an article that ran two days after his death are online at the State Journal.

My heart is full of hurting, and my thoughts go out to SL and Sam’s large circle of friends.

Friday, December 17, 2004

On the verge…

It’s that magical an annoying time of year once again; the time when one is filled with Xmas spirit and joy, even as one curses at traffic caused by rabid consumers’ attempt to be the last shopper standing…

Well, I’m thinking less about shopping and more about traveling, with just a few days before my vacation begins and M and I head east. It’s been several years since I’ve taken the journey, and I’m a little scared of the what the weather might do; but, I’ve given Old Blue an early lube job and full check-up so I know it’s in good shape.

Wednesday, November 3, 2004

Well, now THAT’s dissappointing…

Finally found a way to get live Air America feeds through Meriter’s firewall (though I must admit I miss the convenience of fast-forwarding/rewinding through the MP3 “podcast” versions I’ve been downloading lately); so, of course I “heard it first” as they announced that Kerry had called Bush to concede. What an annoying turn of events; yet again, the Dem’s have decided to play the “it’s better for the nation if we move on” card. As if all the events of the past four years haven’t taught us anything…

We on the left can at least rest assured that the Bush “victory” was not decisive; it still comes down to a 50/50 debate. Our job now, it seems, is to begin (again, anew) the struggle to get those people who voted for Bush as well as for other Republican candidates as well as for bans on gay marriage to see the error of their ways. They voted that way, I’m convinced, not because they truly believe in and trust the current administration, but rather because they are living their lives in fear and have been misled that A) some rigidly defined morality is their ticket to heaven and away from fear, and B) that somehow government is fundamentally untrustworthy and therefore striving to elect officials and hold them accountable to their responsibility to stand for truth and equality rather than partisan interests is a struggle that they are, on some deep unconscious level, unworthy of…

They are wrong on both counts. Government is not corrupt. Some who govern are, and when they are it is the job and the will of the people that they be removed and replaced.

We have four years to get ready. Start the clock now.

ADDENDUM: Just got email from the folks at NARAL; they have an online petition to President Bush regarding pending Supreme Court nominations which you can sign; this one allows for text, and though they’ve provided some default text, you are allowed to edit the message. Here’s mine:

Our Constitution protects the right to freely practice religion; it does not, however, mandate that one’s belief systems can be used to legislate. You have the right to have faith and to believe and to assemble and preach your beliefs, but laws that govern the rights of the entire citizenry must be founded upon fact; they must rest upon the bedrock of science, or the best science available to us at the time of the law’s writing.

As you govern in the next four years, remember that what you feel in your heart and believe in your prayers is between you and God. What you put on paper and sign your name to is between you and some 294 million U.S. citizens.

Provide for the healthcare needs of your citizens, that is your job as President; do not use your post to pass some moral judgement upon them. Judge not, lest you be judged.

– in peace,
Stephen Montagna
aka: a taxpaying American who pays your salary…

Friday, October 29, 2004

Well, closing weekend is upon us; as is Halloween (with the potential for yet another downtown Madison riot); as is, of course the “most important election of our lifetime” (I really wish they would stop saying that; every election is important, and none more so than the one that we have yet to vote in…).

Despite this, I have a hard time feeling enthusiastic. I’m glad to have the show closing; not because I want to see it end – it’s been tons of fun (hear that, Joseph – tons…), and I’m proud of the work (despite what the Isthmus says), but as anyone who knows me knows, working on a show takes so much out of me – on the days when we perform my whole day revolves around the fact that I’ve got to go on stage that night. A week or two of this is o.k.; three or more weeks gets to be prohibitive to leading any kind of normal life (unless, of course, I’m getting paid for said stage time…).

And speaking of days being consumed – I thought yesterday’s rally would just be an hour or two; it consumed nearly the entire day. Travel logistics, parking logistics, navigating pedestrian traffic, getting into the right queue, snaking up and down, back and forth along West Washington Ave. for what seemed like hours (wait a sec, it WAS hours!), all to get two and a half blocks away from that tiny blobs on the stage that were Bruce Springsteen (fully worth it of course) and Sen. John Kerry (who was, amazingly, very easy to make out from that distance thanks to a distinctive light blue shirt and, you know, height).

A good speech – but I have to admit, and I think Salon.com agrees with me, Bruce’s description of the situation outshines any politician’s attempt made over the entirety of the whole campaign going back to the primaries; his clear, simple, straightforward oration puts most political pundits (and Sun. morning spin-meisters) to shame. Leave it to the poets and artists I always say…

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Well, Lonely Planet has opened and is getting favorable word of mouth, if not any actual print reviews (note to news editors: ahem…). The Cap Times did a nice (if perhaps too thorough) write up prior to opening – you can read it here.

It is bizarre to be on stage again. One forgets how dis-orienting stage lighting can be; and how hot – I can only be glad that Stage Q did not pick a June/July timeslot, and thankfully Carl is smart enough to wear fibers that breath properly…

Mom and Dad came in for another nice visit. It was fun playing chauffer (sp?), and, heck, even at the age of thirty-five it’s still nice to not have to pay for meals for a few days (minus, of course, the nice meal I and my brother treated them to for their – (gulp!) – fortieth wedding anniversary!

Monday, October 11, 2004

Goodbye Christopher Reeve – What can one say, except that in a day and age when America’s behavior on the global stage has been so appalling, and where a strong, self-serving administration has brought so much destruction and corruption into our political system and threatened the stability of the foundation of our freedoms and democracy, it is refreshing to know that this country can still produce citizens of the caliber of Mr. Reeve. His courage and determination to see that his life would pave the way for easing pain and suffering of generations yet to come should act as a reminder of what the true purpose of government is, and we should vote accordingly.

Please take some time and perhaps make a contribution to The Christopher Reeve Paralysis Foundation.

one of these days…

I swear to god(dess): one of these days I’ll get around to making this blog thing a regular habit.

Honest.

Heck, with what them fella’s at YouTube earned this past week, I’d be foolish not to cash in on this internet thing (and speaking of internet — you really should tune in to the Bill Moyers’ special on the battle for internet control (http://www.pbs.org/moyers/moyersonamerica/net/index.html). Very eye-opening indeed.

Anyway – I’m steeped in Epic acclimation, so when I can come up for air (next week?) I will start making something meaningful of this blog-thingy.